Philosophy #20 – You Can’t Please Everyone

No matter what you do, you cannot please everyone. This is something that no doubt we have ALL heard at some point in our lives, and it is something that we all have probably learnt the hard way why it turns out to be true. Things that we say, and things that we do are always going to upset someone and there is often no positive sense in making people who do not matter in your life happy, when what you are doing is not wrong per say, but just “not what they would do”. A good example can be found online. Anything that you say on the internet will have its supporters and its haters. You just need to learn to block out the haters. This is one thing that I see from a lot of YouTubers when it comes to their hate comments. The hate comments are better ignored in order to keep everyone at peace since they can ruin ones mental health if you get bogged down in them. Same goes for when it comes to making everyone happy, you should not focus on that, since the people who you WANT to be happy probably already are.

Now, there is of course another side to all of this, and what would the case be if maybe we had parents or other people in our lives who it seems that we could never make happy? These are people we surely value, but also people who seem to have a never-ending list of tasks to be set that only make them satisfied but never happy it seems. Well, in that case you need to learn to live for yourself and not for others. There exists in Psychology a term called “locus of control” and what this means is where exactly the control over your life comes from. The best of these loci to have is the internal Locus of control. This means that you are in control of your own life, and to have what is called an external locus of control would mean that you are either letting life or others push you around and not take charge over your own life. If you live in the terrible position where other people’s expectations of you are too much, you need to tell them (kindly) to take a step back and let you live your life the way you want to live it.

People can be a little overbearing sometimes and we will all encounter that, whether from a parent, friend, co-worker, boss, teacher whoever, it is going to happen to all of us, but the one person that we should all be focused on pleasing is ourselves. Once we have all of the things that we want in life and are happy with the way things are, then we can begin to work on helping others, I believe that to be a massive key to a happy life.

Be in control of your own life, make the most of it and then when you are where you want to be, help others get to where you are. Simple and easy.

Published by mlevis1996

24, Father of Anti-Humanist Philosophy (The AntiJudgementalism Handbook (2020) and 2019 Meditations (2020))

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