“I am not what I think I am, I am not what you think I am, I am what I think, you think, I am” – Charles Cooley
The above quote is something that I have always enjoyed. Ever since I first heard it in one of my grade 12 classes all the way back in 2014. This quote is something that makes you think a little bit. It makes you think that my personality is something that I had always given a lot of time to thinking about, but the problem that comes with that is that I am only seeing it from my own perspective, not the way that others see me. Cooley talks about in this quote that society is based on the premise that we all live our lives, based on how we assume that we want others to see us and to talk about us. We always want to live our lives out thinking to ourselves “well what would _____ think” (fill in the blank with whoever you want) We care so highly about the opinions of others that we barely have time to think for ourselves sometimes.
I realized several years ago, that my personality is for sure a strong one. I come on strong, I can be intimidating and very upfront. I think a lot of that comes from the fact that I live my life every day trying to be the opposite of what Cooley describes. I do not care what others think of me. I am a naturally weird person who will not change what I am doing and who I am for anyone except myself. I strive to be a better person all the time not because of others, but because I do it for me. Selfish yes, but proper selfishness as I have talked about before.
I did hear something new the other day when I met with a friend of mine for a coffee and to catch up. She said it in an endearing kind of way, but she said that my personality was “polarizing”. This is something that I had never really thought about. I realize that we all have opinions about things that we know upset at least some people, but I had never been described as polarizing. She also went on to say that I tend to toe the line between what is acceptable to say and what is something people will speak up and try to tell me that I am wrong and she said it is mainly because what I say makes people think and that the average person does not like that. That I can understand, but over the last little while since we had that conversation it has really gotten me thinking about how exactly could my personality be considered polarizing?
I know that I often can say things and write things that get people upset simply because I am not willing ever to just “give in” and not say something when the moment calls for it, or when I am asked my opinion (and I will always say “are you sure you want to know” if there is a chance that they may not like what they hear), the fact that I do not hold back when answering anything asked of me, and my bluntness I suppose can all be seen as polarizing traits, but does polarizing itself not mean that it would come from the opposite side of most people and things? I know I am a wealth of contradictions sometimes, but not always. My Philosophical musings should all have an even ebb and flow to them all sitting on the same side (generally Anti-Humanist) because those are my beliefs, and sometimes it takes writing out these things to see an actual pattern in them. This is something that I will still need more time to think about as it is a recent development but was still something that inspired me. Thus I write.