Philosophy #4 – Fair Weather Friends

The one thing that I personally feel that people do not need in their everyday lives, are fair-weather friends. These are those people who stick around you for the good times only, and at the first sign of either trouble (money, job loss, breakups etc.) or mental issues (depression, anorexia/bulimia, PTSD etc.) they fly the coop as quickly as they can, because they don’t want to deal with you, and help you through anything, mostly, because they never truly cared.

The things most wrong with the ideology of people who are only fair-weather friends, is the lack of caring and often times the lack of giving back to their friends is an issue. Its either always excuses as to why they will not give back, or they just will leave at the first sight of needing them for more than they bargained for (which I’m telling you, isn’t much).

When we are looking on the surface for the signs of who may or may not be a fair-weather friend, we are looking at a few key aspects; attitude, loyalty and egoism/narcissism.

The attitude portion, is mainly that their attitude towards you is very, very passive, they either will not get huffy or too hot and bothered by you because they feel that you treat them well, or they are always on your case, but never want to help you with anything at all, and in both cases, they will flee at the first sign of trouble.

Looking at the loyalty perspective, they are either fiercely loyal (until something bad happens) or their loyalty is based on whether or not you are in good times or not, these kinds of people will pop in and out of your life, through only the good and not the bad, hence the term “fair-weather friends”.

Now examining the egoism/narcissism portion, you will very much come to see that this kind of an individual is very much either all about themselves (or others like them) or needing to be the center of attention/glory hog. Being the center of attention naturally is great and a great feeling, but these kinds of people will naturally go out of their way, to be the center of attention and it is so pitiful the lengths they will go.

What are the problems that having fair-weather friends can bring into your life? Well it can for certainly bring upon loyalty issues with people, wondering whether one day to the next your “real friends” will be there for you or not, or whether they will abandon you just like your fair-weather friends have. This kind of thing can be torturous on a person’s mind and way of life. Going from having the positive support of say 8 people to finding out that really only 3 or 4 of the people would really be there to help you.

## Marcus Levis’ Scale of Friendship

This scale has 5 levels on it, and each will be explained:

Positive Acquaintance: These people are people who are in and out of your life, but you really do not have much bad to say about them.

Fair-weather Friend: The friend that is only around you for the good times and flees when there is any sign of trouble, as they do not really care highly about you.

Friend: Someone who has been in your life constantly for a period of 6+ Months and has been a positive force in your mind.

Best Friend: Someone who has been in your life for 3+ years and has been an extremely positive force and is very much willing to help you in dire times of need.

Ultimate Friend: Someone you know and trust (and may have some degree of either love or respect for), who has been in your life for 8+ years or longer and would help you through anything at the drop of a hat (pretty much) and the only thing they really want in return for assisting you, is your friendship, and to know that in the same situation, you would do the same.

There are of course the many types of friends that a person can have, but I am mainly focusing on the concept of fair-weather ones.

Fair-weather friends can really bring a person down, because as was previously mentioned…they give one a very false venire of trust and companionship that just sours the mood when you find out that it is fake.

In closing, I would like to simply give advise, as cruel as it may seem, test the loyalty of your friends, but only do it in either dire situations or in minor situations where you will need help, to try and learn who cares…and who doesn’t.

Published by mlevis1996

24, Father of Anti-Humanist Philosophy (The AntiJudgementalism Handbook (2020) and 2019 Meditations (2020))

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